Hydrazine my ass!

Inget konstigt med USA's agerande, de vill markera sin kapabilitet att skjuta ner satelliter både för sig själva och för andra länder. Självklart så är man heller inte sugen på möjligheten att sekretessstämplat gods landar så att vem som helst kan plocka upp det. Det som är absurbt är hur svenskar som invånare i en främmande makt, (vi är faktiskt inte amerikaner, tro det eller ej). Bara står och sväljer det töntigaste svepskälet det här decenniet. Att slänga ut 50 miljoner dollar på att förebygga risken att de två fotbollsplaner som påverkas av satellit plus bränsle skulle ligga i en urban miljö låter som en rimlig ekvation får dels gärna räkna på Jordens yta samt på vad man kan göra för de tusentals barn som dör varje dag i flyktingläger pga brist på medicin etc.

För övrigt så är det samma ämne som sprutade ut ur 14:e expeditionen till ISS rymdfärja när den landade igår.

Main character

Wasting time is frustrating, but still, all these things that are meaningful and exciting tend to suck you into them. Fuck that. that is pretty much the definition of meaningful activities, that you are comitted to them. The problem is this whole idea of doing a thousand exciting things at once, it's like the notion that you could watch 0ver 240 movietrailers in the same time as it would take to watch a complete movie. In all those sequences that adds a context to the action you feel that you could squeeze in some more action. ...Well maybe I should? Nobody will give me points for artistic integity in the way I choose to lead my life anyway.

Old school, new style

After going about our group-psychology activity Patricia and I were in search of somewhere to prepare our report, and pretty much the only place within walking distance from the school we visited was this small and oldfashioned coffeeshop that catered to regulars that lived in the retirement home nextdoor. This small joint lies in the intersection of Gamla Uppsalagatan and Svartbäcksgatan so there is a lot of cars passing, but these rarely stop here, and when they do It's just to get some cake that they have ordered in advance. So what's the point? Ah, the point is that this place is severely unhip, it's way off from the central business district, and it has a clientele with a median age of 75 and I, still get all my skype and messenger icons flashing when i boot my computer here. I think that it is beautiful when the connected society is so integrated in the old society so that I can sit here editing my files and blog and enjoy my Latte while surrounded by 78 year olds sipping their small cups of black coffee.

Watching washing

I find washing machines strangely fascinating. They have this quality of doing the job while you are free to do something else and at the same time giving you the impression that it actually is you that have done a chore. And if you stay with the machines as they go about their job it's almost like watching really boring tv. A lot of people have other kinds of associations with washing machines, some think of exciting sex, some think of chance meetings with new relationships, some think of the mobilephone that they forgot in their trousers. I myself for instance have for some reason a lot of memories all relating to money. (A joke about money laundering would be appropriate here). But I also like the stress-free enviroment, the machines are taking their time, and you can't really do anything about it. At the same time you sometimes have to sit and wait so that nobody takes the machine between your washes. Especially since the machines tend to underestimate the time it takes to complete their assignment. I usually make sure that I have a good cup of coffee and bring a suitably philosophical text with me. And then I just relax. Sometimes another patron enters the laundry room to evaluate the prospects of nicking a machine. in those instances you just meet their eyes, tilt your a bit and smile warmly. (if you want to overdo it you can always raise your eyebrows slightly, as if asking what warrants the pleasure of his or her visit in your simple abode).

Although tonight I made a misstake of catastrophic consequences; I thought that the tumble drier would be operational after 23.30 but alas, I was wrong. Hence I will be forced to sleep like an animal without bedding. (The pain!)

Well, whatever. It's not like it's the first time.


Btw. Note that I hide behind the tumbledrier. This is due to the extreme spinning of the machine when doing some serious centrifuge action. It always scares the living daylights out of me.

Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down.

They say that you should alwys have two feet on the ground lest you lose contact with reality. so much better to have your whole body resting on the ground. Is it only when life gives you a couple of slaps in the face that you really get that physical touch with reality? That kind of touch that most people try to keep out of their lives. So many see movies like "Lilja forever" and get properly upset. this shock is good because it adds some spice to their safe lives, but they would never ever want to get in touch with the dark side of society or even with the grey border zones. And all this is natural, for several reasons, you want to evaluate yourself by those who are worse of and you do not want your life to get contaminated by that world, because you don't know if it will suck you down. The best thrillers are the ones about normal happy families that get corrupted by a toxic influence.(think Cape fear, pacific heights, single white woman). But is it really the best way to try to isolate oneself from plague? isn't it better to make oneself immune by actually getting the dark side of society in small doses? And how would one go about this kind of immunity? Let's get one thing clear; I despise slumming among those less fortunate, but sadly this is often what happens, no matter how good your cause is. This I would argue is because if you you make an emotional investment in this area you cannot avoid getting sucked in. Maybe it's the smallest contributions that are the best, the ones that do not claim to change the world, because they change you instead. I used to see these contributions to charity as a kind of tax on bad conscience, but maybe their impact is much more profound than that. Maybe I should treat it as an outstretched hand to understand the problems in the world in a more complex way than we are taught everyday by the media?

Or maybe I should stop trying to dance under low sticks after drinking copious amounts of alcohol?

Life is nice!

What is they say about the quantitive relationship in meaning between pictures and words? Well, I'll just let the picture do the talking.(typing?)

I suddenly developed an intense urge to get outdoors.

WTF?!

Yesterday all my troubles were so far away...Well I don't know for sure if I have more troubles today than yesterday, but I know one thing that has changed dramatically for the worse, the weather. How did this happen? As the spring comes all swedish people put away all their winter clothes and starts to wear unreasonably light clohing just to express the victory over a long and gruesome winter. In many ways it's also a reclaimation of the body, the first real opportunity to show that underneath all those layers of wool, down and furs etc. there is a body that they have been working hard to keep in shape while partaking in all the social eating that the swedish holidays center around. So it's no great mystery to find people who bask in the sunshine of their newly recovered sun and try to remove as much clothing as possible. This is all good, but it also implies the worst thing that can happen is what happened this morning. Someone have stolen our beautiful sun and replaced it with cold snowstorms. Not a weather that inspire to outdoor activities. In many ways this is the worst treason that the poor swedes right now, and everybody have to go back to their storages and retreive all that heavy thick clothing or walk around in their springtime wear and freeze while making desperate attempts to convince themselves that this will pass in a day or two.

I'm just glad that I can stay indoors all day.

Undgomshuset in Copenhagen

Normally I get quite excited by political events and I have a very strong opinion on them. But with ungdomshuset I find it very complicated to give a good answer on what would be a good solution. In this case my opinion is so much stronger on the people who comments on this situation. What we have in the case of ungdomshuset is in many ways one of the central problems of democracy, If you want to keep democracy you have to accept the opinions of those who oppose it. In the case of Ungdomshuset you have a very interresting institution that gave the youth in Copenhagen a place to express themselves and their opinions, and in a Denmark that have many conservative institutions integrated into society this is a healthy vent for young people that are exploring their opinions and values. Because of this function, many of those who frequented Ungdomshuset perceived the sale of it as a treachery from the Copenhagen municipality. What made the situation worse was that those who bought it was on of the many sects that flourish in Copenhagen. The sect bought ungdomshuset fair and square, but everyone knew that they planned to use it for recruitment. The equation seems quite simple, here we have something that is good that the big man is turning into something bad, hence we must fight the big man for what is good. The key here is what ungdomshuset symbolizes, and at the same time Christiania is being closed down. And this is happening while extreme consumerism is actually threatening the danish national economy. I think that even though many in sweden think Denmark and Sweden are very alike it is not possible to view the danish situation from a Swedish perspective.

And here I must must make a strong statement on those who live in sweden and voice their opinions on the situation in Copenhagen is that I agree with their right to say their mind but i disagree with the notion that they have any idea what they are talking about.

All these beautiful things that we never do.

I think that Beautiful is a universal word, it can define everything that pleaes us. I realized this many years ago when one of my friends commented on an mathematical equation that it was beautiful, and I later realized how many things that have a certain harmony is beautiful. And of course this word and it's meaning can be tranferred to certain actions, actions that have this inner harmony, this fleeting relation to themselves and to the universe, actions that are complete in themselves and actions that convey a deeper meaning. The only problem is that these actions are quite rare. they are limited by who we are and our capabilities. we would love to have poetry in our actions but it is seldom more than dirty limericks, we would love our behaviour to remind of a well sung aria, but it is mostly a muted humming. we would love to lead a life that is like great art, a masterpiece in the art of existing, but what do we do? we let ourselves be limited by mere reality. If we bend reality with our will, if we say like mandrake that what your enemies are holding are not weapon but flowers then, and only then will our actions be truly beautiful.

Faster, harder, future

Sitting at the Baresso coffeebar on Strøget, enjoying a latte grande and poking around on my computer...
I like this, this is future. Not "the future" just simple "future" I think that The future was something born by the fifties and killed by the nineties. It's like those funny people walking around with a big sign that says something on the lines of "The world ends tomorrow". Well, it feels like the fifties brought an attitude to the world, technology and ourselves that The future starts tomorrow, some alla-pervasive notion that society would, given enough research and science unfold to some beautiful utopia populated by a better and more profound humanity. That did not happen. In fact, nothing happened, at least nothing great and wonderful or catastrophic and horrible. There were just small changes, plane trips becaame cheaper and more common, more people started to get computers and small digital devices, the ozonlayer thinned out a little more, but still, nothing really HAPPENED. Stuff just changed little by little and suddenly you realize that you are sipping your coffe in a coffebar while watching live video feeds from paraguay and writing in a virtual diary about how it makes you feel...

I like future...