Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down.

They say that you should alwys have two feet on the ground lest you lose contact with reality. so much better to have your whole body resting on the ground. Is it only when life gives you a couple of slaps in the face that you really get that physical touch with reality? That kind of touch that most people try to keep out of their lives. So many see movies like "Lilja forever" and get properly upset. this shock is good because it adds some spice to their safe lives, but they would never ever want to get in touch with the dark side of society or even with the grey border zones. And all this is natural, for several reasons, you want to evaluate yourself by those who are worse of and you do not want your life to get contaminated by that world, because you don't know if it will suck you down. The best thrillers are the ones about normal happy families that get corrupted by a toxic influence.(think Cape fear, pacific heights, single white woman). But is it really the best way to try to isolate oneself from plague? isn't it better to make oneself immune by actually getting the dark side of society in small doses? And how would one go about this kind of immunity? Let's get one thing clear; I despise slumming among those less fortunate, but sadly this is often what happens, no matter how good your cause is. This I would argue is because if you you make an emotional investment in this area you cannot avoid getting sucked in. Maybe it's the smallest contributions that are the best, the ones that do not claim to change the world, because they change you instead. I used to see these contributions to charity as a kind of tax on bad conscience, but maybe their impact is much more profound than that. Maybe I should treat it as an outstretched hand to understand the problems in the world in a more complex way than we are taught everyday by the media?

Or maybe I should stop trying to dance under low sticks after drinking copious amounts of alcohol?